Embracing Neurodiversity During the Holiday Season: Tips for Inclusive Celebrations

The holidays are often framed as a time of joy, togetherness, and tradition. But for many neurodivergent people—and for the families and friends who love them—this season can also bring sensory overload, social pressure, disrupted routines, and emotional exhaustion.

Supporting neurodiversity during the holidays isn’t about lowering expectations or walking on eggshells. It’s about expanding our understanding of what care, connection, and inclusion can look like when we honour different nervous systems, communication styles, and needs.

Understanding Neurodiversity During the Holidays

Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in how human brains function. This includes, but is not limited to, people who are autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing differences, or other cognitive variations.

Holiday environments can unintentionally be challenging because they often involve:

• Loud gatherings and overlapping conversations

• Strong smells, bright lights, and crowded spaces

• Unspoken social expectations

• Changes in routine and sleep schedules

• Pressure to participate in traditions in a specific way

What may feel festive to one person can feel overwhelming or dysregulating to another—and both experiences are valid.

Shifting the Mindset: From Managing to Understanding

A helpful starting point is moving away from asking, “How do we get through the holidays?” and toward asking, “How can we create holiday experiences that feel safer and more accessible for everyone?”

This shift allows us to focus on curiosity, flexibility, and compassion rather than compliance or control.

Practical Ways to Support Neurodiversity During the Holidays

1. Communicate Clearly and Ahead of Time

Many neurodivergent people benefit from predictability. Sharing details in advance can reduce anxiety and support emotional regulation.

Consider sharing:

• Who will be there

• How long the gathering will last

• What activities are planned

• Whether there will be loud music, games, or unstructured time

Clear communication isn’t over-explaining—it’s creating emotional safety.

2. Normalize Opting In and Opting Out

Participation doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Support might look like:

• Allowing someone to arrive later or leave early

• Offering quiet spaces for breaks

• Accepting that someone may not want to hug, play games, or sit at the table the entire time.

Connection isn’t measured by endurance.

3. Reduce Sensory Overload Where Possible

Small adjustments can make a meaningful difference:

• Lowering background music

• Using softer lighting

• Creating a designated calm space

• Offering noise-cancelling headphones or fidget tools

These are not “special accommodations”—they are thoughtful ways to support regulation and comfort.

4. Release Expectations Around Social Norms

Eye contact, small talk, enthusiasm, or traditional expressions of gratitude may not come naturally to everyone.

It can be helpful to remember:

• Different does not mean disengaged

• Quiet does not mean ungrateful

• Boundaries are not personal rejections

Allow people to show care and connection in the ways that feel most authentic to them.

5. Check In Without Pressure

Instead of asking, “Are you okay?”—which can feel loaded—try:

• “What would be helpful right now?”

• “Would you like company or some space?”

• “Is there anything we can adjust?”

Support is most effective when it is collaborative rather than assumptive.

For Neurodivergent Folks: It’s Okay to Advocate for Yourself

If you are neurodivergent, you are not “too much” for having needs—especially during a season that can be as intense as the holidays.

You are allowed to:

• Set boundaries around time, touch, and energy

• Ask for accommodations

• Redefine what the holidays look like for you

• Choose rest over tradition

Your nervous system deserves care, too.

Redefining Togetherness

The most meaningful holiday moments rarely come from perfect gatherings or rigid traditions. They come from feeling seen, respected, and safe.

Supporting neurodiversity invites us to broaden our definition of togetherness—one where flexibility is valued, differences are honoured, and connection does not require conformity.

At Co & Associates, we believe mental and emotional health is not meant to be navigated alone. The holidays are no exception.

If you or someone you love is finding this season overwhelming, support is available—and you do not have to wait until January to seek it.

Written by Garion Sparks-Austin, BSW, RSW

Founder & Director of Co & Associates

Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist