So where do we go from here? What is the next step and what are we greeting when we meet tomorrow?
Nobody knows and there really is no way to predict or to control what comes next. Sure there is setting goals and having an idea of where we want to end up, but the in between, the voids and space of time we continue to fill with the mundane or with events or things to numb, but regardless of how much we do, we still have zero control over what comes next.
The in between is what we are faced with. Often, that means discomfort, sometimes a numbing so we do not feel what we need to feel in order to actually move closer to our next task or goal, or even just a better sense of self. Other times we are faced with forks in the road or detours on the paths we thought we were meant to follow.
The less we focus on what we believe we want, the quicker we get to where we are supposed to be.
It is the space, the voids, where anxiety is heightened, where we can more easily be enveloped by our fears, our “not good enough’s”, our vulnerability and the what we have not done yet.
Rather than focusing on the emptiness, how do we focus on the fullness, on what has built us to be comprised of this messy and incomplete wholeness? (Incomplete only because our lives have not yet finished, not because we are not good enough).
Spend some time invested in yourself.
Start with a list of three (3) things you are grateful for, in this very moment, not even your life in its entirety. Repeat this, every day and any time you feel yourself start to slip back into the voids. The more consistent you do this, the more you may find your list more easily expands.
Change your environment, even for a few minutes. Move from the bed, the room, the house, the yard; find a sanctuary outside of your shelter. Create a space to call your own, like a local conservation area or park to sit, use it as a tool to create freedom in your mind.
Offer yourself the same kindness you offer to those around you. So easily we can be so hard on ourselves, yet even when we meet a stranger, we give them so much more love than we give in return to ourselves.
And, allow yourself to set goals, but stick to goals that are realistic; use the SMART criteria to help you.
S – Specific; M – Measurable; A – Attainable; R – Realistic; T – Time-Bound.
If you continue to feel that you are stuck in a loop, remember that it is okay.
We are all looping, through various cycles and stages in our lives, they just do not look the same; and often, we exert more energy trying hard to hide our loops, rather than ride through them.
Lastly, connect. Find someone to connect with, maybe a therapist, a coach, a minister/priest/member of the church, a neutral being that can help you work through the loops.
Focus on what you can control, and all that is, is you, right now, in this moment.
Until next time,